Welcome to the EnoWeb's very own rip-off of the Oblique Strategies. Oops, I'm sorry, I can't read my handwriting. That should say "very own tribute to the Oblique Strategies".

As its name suggests, "Ask Eno" is your chance to ask Brian's advice on any topic you wish, yet it can be done without causing him any trouble whatsoever!!!

How???? Just follow these simple instructions!!!!!!!!!! (Oops, we're getting a bit excited. Calm down, calm down. Ahem).

1. Read all the instructions before starting.

2. Ask a question or speak a sentence, e.g. "Bagel or waffle?", "Where am I going right?", "I need to know what my next move should be" and so on. You can do this in your mind if you want, I Ching style. Alternatively, if you're in a crowded office, you may prefer to shout it out loudly just as your manager walks into the area (then next time you can Ask Eno things like "Why do my employers always fire me?" and "Why is my career path blocked?").

3. Click on the picture of Brian up there and wait for a soundbite of his words of wisdom to be downloaded. Files are cross-platform .mp3 format and sizes range from 148K to 15K.

4. For this to work, you'll need a browser that handles client-side image maps and sound-playing facilities. Please note that we have experienced difficulties running this in Netscape on a Windows NT system, although Internet Explorer was fine.

5. The response you'll get will be totally inappropriate, mildly inappropriate, or (if you're really lucky) vaguely appropriate. However, Brian may be grumpy -- or busy with his own projects -- and refuse to co-operate.

6. This is the same "consultation" service that big-name pop stars (e.g. U2, Bowie and James) pay $$$'s for - and you're getting it TOTALLY FREE OF CHARGE!!! "Even better than the real thing," says Bono from U2 (although not in connection with this EnoWeb page).

7. The EnoWeb will not be held responsible for people following Brian's pearls of wisdom. It's only a bit of fun!